If you find that your feelings and emotions are overwhelming and are stopping you from being able to carry on normally with your life, or if you are becoming depressed, then it may be time to seek professional help. Making this decision yourself can help you feel much more in control.

However, sometimes it is difficult to realise that you are slipping into depression, even when this is very obvious to others who are close to you. Do listen to your partner, family members or friends if they say you seem to be depressed or if they suggest that you need help.

Appointments are usually short, so try to plan what you want to say before you see the doctor. It can be helpful to jot a few points down on a list.

When you are with the doctor, try to tell them how you really feel – focus on what concerns you most of all. This will help your doctor to give the most helpful advice or treatment for you. Consider taking a friend or partner along to help remind you of everything you want to discuss. Taking someone along with you means that they can remind you what the doctor said. Some GPs are happy for the discussion to be audiotaped, so you can listen to it later.

If you find that the first GP you see is unhelpful or difficult to talk to, try another one in the practice until you find one who suits you. There are many other members of the wider healthcare team who may be able to help you cope with your feelings and emotions. Each has a different role to play, but usually you will only need the help of one or two. Not all of these will be available in your area, but your GP can help you to find out those that are.

Counsellors are people who are trained to help people talk through their problems. They will not give advice or answers, but will help you find your own answers. This can be very helpful, particularly if you do not feel able to discuss your feelings and emotions with people close to you.

Clinical psychologists are interested in what people think, feel and do, particularly in stressful situations such as coping with cancer. If you are depressed or anxious, a clinical psychologist can help you to consider how you might be able to change ways of thinking or things that you do to help yourself to feel better.

Macmillan nurses are trained in all aspects of caring for people with cancer. Some are trained counsellors – you can explain to them how the cancer is affecting your life and how you are coping with any feelings and emotions that you have.

Oncologist/cancer specialists are doctors who specialise in treating cancer. Although most oncologists will have some experience of helping people deal with the emotional effects of cancer they may want to concentrate on treating your cancer and prefer you to discuss feelings and emotions with a clinical psychologist, counsellor or your GP.

Many hospitals have specialist nurses who can talk to you about the emotional effects of cancer and help you to find ways of coping.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specialises in depression and other emotional illness.

Community psychiatric nurses (CPNs) are nurses who specialise in helping people to cope with all types of mental illness. They may visit you regularly at home or run group therapy sessions. Many are trained in problem-solving therapy or counselling.

If your GP suggests referring you to a psychiatrist, this does not necessarily mean that there is anything seriously wrong with you. Seeing a psychiatrist can be helpful if:

• there are problems with your medicines
• you have severe anxiety or depression
• after a full course of treatment, you are unable to stop taking antidepressants without depression coming back.

A psychiatrist may refer you for talking therapies.

There are many different types of talking therapy available, including psychotherapy and counselling. These have all been shown to benefit people who have anxiety or depression, and can be useful for people affected by cancer.

Although a few specific types of talking therapies are mentioned here, there are many others to choose from.

Give the therapy a good try. Then, if you don't think that it is helping, or you feel it may be making things worse, talk to your doctor or therapist about it. It may be that another approach would work better for you.

Many people can get support by talking to close family members or friends. However, it can sometimes be useful to talk to someone from outside your circle of family and friends, who has been trained to listen and help you explore your feelings. The emotions you are feeling may be very tangled and confused. You may find them difficult to talk about and very hard to share with your friends or family.

Talking one-to-one with a trained counsellor in a more focused way is designed to help you sort out your feelings and find ways of coping with them. Some GPs have counsellors within their practice, or they can refer you to a counsellor. The Cancer Counselling Trust provides face to face counselling for people in London, and telephone counselling for anyone outside London. One-to-one, couples or family counselling is available.

We have further information on talking about cancer and how to talk to someone with cancer.

You may be given the opportunity to take part in group therapy. In this type of therapy, a trained therapist (counsellor or other professional) encourages a group of individuals to share their feelings and experiences with each other.

This is different from a self-help group, as the therapist leading the group will be aware of the individual participants' problems and will be able to guide the discussion so that everyone benefits.

When people feel that they are not coping well with life or circumstances, they can feel anxious and depressed. It can then be hard to believe that things can change or that there is anything that they can do that may help. This creates a vicious circle. Learning to cope better helps people feel less anxious and depressed. One way of achieving this is by a method called problem solving.

The therapist will help you sort out and list all your concerns and difficulties. Together, you will choose one problem to work on – you will be helped to think of your own ways of solving the problem and look at all the pros and cons of each solution. Then in the time between sessions you will be encouraged to try out a solution of your choice. This is a very important part of the treatment.

It can seem very difficult to get started, but the therapist will help you choose an achievable goal. Satisfaction in achieving your goal is the beginning of overcoming anxiety and depression.

Problem solving treatment can be effective in overcoming symptoms of anxiety and depression for many people.

The way we think about things – ourselves, our world, the future – has a powerful effect on how we feel. People who are anxious or depressed often have negative patterns of thinking, which keeps them feeling low in spirit.

Cognitive behaviour therapy is designed to break this cycle. Even when nothing else changes, the way you think about things can have a powerful effect on how you feel. The therapist will help you to recognise the negative thoughts that are making you depressed, and will help you find effective ways to challenge them.

What you think and feel affects what you do. When people are depressed, they often stop doing the things they used to enjoy. The loss of pleasurable activities adds to depression.

The behavioural part of the treatment is designed to help you find out what you can do that gives you a sense of satisfaction and pleasure. You will be helped to set yourself achievable goals. This is important because experiencing success will help you feel less depressed.

As you begin to feel better, you will be able to do more, which will in turn help you to feel even better.